This is a post from a commenter on a forum with people victimized by the dog insanity, specially barking.
A long read, 2,000+ words, but really worth of our time.
By: ‘The Noose Guy’
Today it finally, FINALLY happened. At long last I succeeded in killing my neighbour’s dog. After 6 or 7 unsuccessful attempts. It was not a pleasant experience. I had to put a cord around its neck and strangle the f****** life out of it, and I’m still a bit too traumatized to start celebrating regaining what I hope will be a normal life. But after three months of what amounted to torture caused by the noise created by this animal, with noticeable effects on my mental and physical health, I relish regaining the reasonably quiet life that should be every human being’s right.
I could write a book about the last three months since my nearest neighbour, who works away from home for weeks on end in between brief visits home, decided it would be a good idea to acquire a large husky dog and to leave it there alone inside his empty house while he is away. How anyone could even consider doing such a cruel thing is beyond me. Unfortunately the dog had access to at least one open window, and all windows have security bars as is normal here in Spain. So it was able to pollute the air with its incredible volume and wide range of obnoxious sounds. They ranged from a full-on bark that would wake the dead, to all sorts of “Oh I’m so unhappy” noises like whimpering, sounds similar to something a cow or donkey would make, and lately a low, fog horn-like sound that was hard to place at first, but I realised it had added something new to its repertoire. Straight barking is extremely annoying in itself, but to have that compounded with a whole range of “emotional”, crying sounds really really got to me. Worse than having to listen to a crying baby. At least babies or toddlers eventually stop, but this thing just never, never, ever gave up.
I read once that huskies have the highest measured VO2 Max of any animal on the planet. More the double that of the very best cyclists and cross-country skiers. That explains why they can run all day long in the frozen north for 16 hours a day, pulling heavily-laded sleds if need be, do it all with a smile and a wag of the tail and get up the next day eager for more. Knowing that made me feel extremely sorry for this poor innocent creature, imprisoned and isolated by a thoughtless, ignorant, stupid, heartless “owner”. For what reason I know not. The dog obviously had nowhere to shit and piss other than in this house. The smell coming out of the window was horrendous, and flies were everywhere. It had some kind of access to food and water, in what form I have no idea.
So anyway after one or two unsuccessful poisoning attempts and could feel my sanity slipping away. I could either abandon the home I had spent over a year renovating and fine-tuning, or try to sell it (but who would buy a house with that noise next door?) or kill the dog. Being a reasonable, fairly intelligent, mild-mannered sort of person, I had done all the things that naturally come to mind. Spoke to the neighbour, several times. Contacted the police over twenty times, even playing them recordings and quoting the laws that were evidently being broken. Tried to have a dialogue with the town hall, but after four written, hand-delivered, officially-receipted communicatins were ignored, I gave up. I realised, like so many others in this forum have before me, that complaining is useless. But it is counter-intuitive to think, at the onset of the noise pollution, that your best course is to say nothing to anyone and just kill the dog.
At this point I really don’t care if the neighbour suspects me or if a Crime Scene Investigation Unit turns up looking for fibres, etc (Ha! This is southern Spain we’re talking about). I would argue until my final breath that it ended up a case of my sanity and physical health versus one neglected, maltreated and forgotten dog’s life. I was in as much danger as if a dangerous dog were ripping lumps of flesh out of me. I uphold the view that dog noise is a form of torture to those who have it force-fed into their lives. In fact there are many cases of exposure to noise being used as torture by security forces. They often like to use methods that do not leave physical marks.
If I wanted a siesta outside or inside, I had to use in-ear foam earplugs, PLUS industrial ear-protectors on top. And STILL there was no complete escape from the awful noise. And it wasn’t just the noise itself that damaged me. The silent periods between noise outbreaks were blighted by the uncertainty, dread and expectation of when the noise would next resume. Again this has a parallel with torture techniques used in detention camps.
So yes when I found this forum thread I read it ALL the way through, yes all 9+ years’-worth! It took over a week of coffee-time reading to do it, and I made notes along the way. It was reassuring to know I was not alone in my suffering and that others’ experiences were very similar.
Now here is a summary of what didn’t work:
1. Meatballs laced with raisins, garlic, dark cocoa powder that I read elsewhere were supposed to be harmful to dogs.
2. Meatballs laced with antifreeze, with some ibuprofen and paracetamol mixed in for good measure.
3. Rat poison, antifreeze and more painkillers in, you guessed it, meatballs.
4. A meatball flavoured with the concentrate from 60g of pipe tobacco. That should have been enough to kill two big dogs.
5. A meatball with a huge doses of ibuprofen and paracetamol, in theory enough to kill two large dogs.
6. Sponges chunks tightly wrapped with thin rubber bands.
7. Had a job finding them, but eventually managed to locate macadamia nuts (delicious but rather expensive!) and made another meatball with those and the dark cocoa powder, with bread and water to bind it all together.
Well, NONE of those techniques worked in the case of this dog. Each attempt took a lot out of me, as I had to enter my neighbour’s land and put the doggy treat through the bars of the open window. Invariably the dog was there to welcome me. And each time I was left wondering if it would be successful. In some cases the noises changed somewhat, so maybe the poison had some effect, but evidently not enough.
So I decided I could not let this drag out ANY longer. I filed a large metal spike to a very sharp point, and mounted to the end of a long pipe. Like a lance. I realised this would be gory way to do it, and I wasn’t keen to actually do the deed that way. But one day I noticed the dog had started to shove its head through the metal bars of its prison. Then a flash of inspiration came to me. I could easily use that opportunity to slip a noose around its neck, silence it that way, and when the owner returned he would (hopefully) assume the beast had strangled itself. And happily dogs are very hairy creatures, so unless the carcass is shaved any rope marks would remain invisible.
After a full day of horrendous noise last Monday, I made up my mind that Tuesday would be D-Day (Dog Day? Death Day? Dog-gone day?). I had to “man up”, use my bare hands and end both my suffering and the poor unfortunate dog’s, too. So I laid out the nylon cord for the following morning. But Tuesday morning was strangely quiet. Would you believe it the owner had returned. Mixed emotions, as the resultant peace was wonderful but my plans to make it a permanent peace had to be put on hold yet again. The owner appeared to be gone by Thursday yet it remained quiet. Had he taken the dog away? Had it died after all from the macadamia nuts & chocolate? No, too good to be true, the low moaning fog horn noise eventually turned into the usual 130 dB barking and the horrible complaining sounds.
Well I am here to report that four hours ago the deed was done. It almost wasn’t though. When I had it in the noose and pulled with all my might the damn cord broke, such was the force of his struggling. I had to return home and make a quadruple cord noose just to be sure. And it took forever before he stuck his head out again. It was surprisingly quick, just a minute or two before I thought life had faded away. But I kept up full tension on the cords for a timed TEN MINUTES. I had to be ABSOLUTELY sure this time. It was a long, long ten minutes, but after almost 100 days of total life disruption and torture I wasn’t going to skimp at this point.
The biggest living creature I’d killed before was a mouse in a trap, so this was a real “cave-man” moment for me. My heart was beating like crazy and I felt I had the strength of ten men as I hauled on that rope, while the dog pulled equally hard in the opposite direction (but not for long).
No, wait, I just remembered, I did kill something bigger than a mouse before – a few weeks ago I was driving along and a stray dog ran out straight at my car. I did try to avoid it (automatic reaction), but there was nowhere to go it ended up under my wheels. And man that car is heavy! I cheered a big cheer and smiled a huge smile that day, another noise- and shit-maker removed from the planet. If I hadn’t been suffering as I was from neighbour dog noise pollution/torture, I would’ve felt really sad for the poor little thing…
Ok, I feel better now having put my story down. There is nobody I can talk to about it so you anonymous internet people out there will have to do. I hope my tale has some value to others who suddenly find themselves in a similar position. I’m still going to see if any company will supply me with 1080 poison (sodium fluoroacetate). I want to be prepared in the future. That’s what they use in Australia to control the wild dog population. It works. Apparently 1 gramme will kill around 300 dogs. And for around $60 a gramme online, that’s only 20 cents per dog! And easily slipped into doggie treats for handy dispensing when the need arises. I hope, I hope…
Just a quick postscript to my post above. I missed out the nail-in-sausages technique from list of failures. I had high hopes for that one. It’s hard to think of the words to describe the sheer bliss of being noise-free. And anxiety-free too. I probably wouldn’t trade this feeling for a dozen semi-clad nubile virgins,, enthusiastically massaging every part of me with exotic scented oils from the four corners of the world. (But I would need to try it first before saying for sure).
This evening I returned home and noticed some people busy with shovels in my neighbour’s land. I doubt they were planting almond trees so it seems poor doggy is now safely and quickly underground, thanks to some friends or relations, one of whom must have looked in at the house today. That’s a relief, I was a little concerned about bad smells coming from the carcass now the summer weather is here. And since they didn’t turn up at my gates bearing pitch forks and flaming torches, it appears my plan worked and I may be in the clear.
Well I hope the poor suffering beast is now running happily around in a snowy paradise with all his furry doggy friends. He didn’t deserve to be treated the way he was, and neither did I. But all’s well that ends well. My healing is already underway.
Me again. My enjoyment of life in indescribable now, feel like I’ve been reborn. Only now can I see clearly how badly my life was destroyed by a neighbour’s baffling decision and then his failure to respond to requests to do something about the noise.