Excuses from Dog Owners – Lies, Tactics, Accusations…

The most common – and absurd – excuses, lies, blame shifting… from irresponsible dog owners about their… annoying, dangerous dogs. Each with a logical reply.

1000 Dog Owner Excuses

Wisdom says, supported by facts, that we should never confront an ODOr (obnoxious dog owner) as long as we could. As they are already disregarding the neighbors or outright breaking the law, there is nothing positive one should expect from these often negatively memorable moments. Threats, cursing, spitting, assaults, attacks… murders. Many are career criminals and most unmedicated schizophrenic, true psychopaths. As the minimum of the minimum, they are highly inconsiderate neighbors. Most are narcissists riding on their high horses. These are not name calling, but definitions.

Unfortunately, once in a while — like when catching a dog terrorising our family, in the act — we may not be able to remember that and fall in the trap of an argument against the most illogical, disturbed, inconsiderate people on the planet. Normal people would be caught off-guard because they would not know what to say to statements so out of this world, purely insane.  So the reason of this article.

What to do. What NOT to do.

Before we continue, a few things to remember:

  • Try to avoid confrontation at all costs. Better yet, avoid even identifying yourself by not being physically present. For that you may make a couple of polite phone calls (with ID blocking) or mailing some educational/informative letters to the offender.
  • Do not carry any lethal weapon at these times. You may have, however, a choice of a stun gun or bear spray, but to use Only in case you are physically attacked first (be aware, you must be cursed). Never take the initiative to use them or you will be crucified as the “Bad Guy” (by ODOrs and police alike, of course).
  • Avoid going to their private property, be it  in person or to take a picture over the fence. If you have to knock on their door, do it and try to come back to the sidewalk or at least stay in public view. Entering their home is Not recommended as they may have a psychological advantage over you since you are in their property.
  • Be polite, but firm. Speak clearly, but do not raise your voice. Look right into their eyes, do not look down. They can smell fear and, if so, they will make misery of you. Even more they already have.
  • Minimize the use of words like: May I, Could you, Would you mind, Would that be possible, I would prefer, Perhaps we…, and even the repetitive use of Please, Thanks.
  • Never follow on an argument. ODOrs will keep going shouting on and on. Just strongly explain your point, along with your expectation for a solution, and leave. You stop giving the unwarranted attention they crave for. They absolutely hate it.
  • If they try to keep arguing, just say “I am not going to keep arguing anymore. I already clearly informed you of the issues and so I expect You to correct the problem in the fastest manner possible. Bye “. Also, never answer with a question like in “You don’t want me to clean up after your pet, do you?”. It places you in an endless loop of back and forth. Waste of time, and patience.
  • Never threaten them, even when what you say is not a real threat. Do not say “If you don’t do that, next time I’ll call the police/animal control” or “any loose dog that threatens me on my property, I’ll kill it” or “there are people in this area who poison dogs, you know”. You got the idea.  They will for sure use these words against you some time, strongly twisting what you said, and police will believe… the ODOr!
  • Never say words like “Your dogs are getting me*Crazy*!” (ODOr will say, ‘see, he said he’s crazy!’) or “I’m losing my *Sanity* because of this situation” (ODOr will say, ‘I told you he is not a normal person!’) or “I can’t work anymore” (ODOr will say, ‘he doesnt even work! He is lazy!’). ODOrs will use those words to “prove” that you are a mentally disturbed person, a really crazy guy, who then should not be trusted.
  • Practice. When the time comes, and they will come, you will see that t is easier said than done. If you suppose you are about to have one of these encounters, just practice some imaginary ‘conversations’ you are going to have, and what to say, and do.
  • Always, and I mean *Always*, have the encounter(s) recorded, be it on audio or video, or both. Be it recorded by you or someone else a few yards away (from your second floor window?), but do it anyway, even if they say you can not record, police included (use your “double” imagination here). The only exception is to never record on their own private property, including over the fence. Everyone has a cellphone with camera today. Use it. This is THE most powerful evidence to factually prove what you have said and done. ODOrs will undoubtedly try to change the facts, playing the poor victims. With a recording they can not. This is the most undisputable evidence ever. Did I say to *Always* record it?

Don’t forget to read what to expect After You’ve Confronted an ODOr, at the end of this page.

The List of The Most Absurd Excuses by Dog Owners

So let’s go to the Excuses From Dog Owners, in no specific order:

• Dogs bark, that’s what they do / It’s a dog, it’s going to bark / They bark because…
Reply: Yes, dogs do bark and that ‘s YOUR responsibility to control them. Your responsibility only, not mine. Your problem to resolve, not mine. Your neighbor should NOT be disturbed by Your dogs barking, no matter what time of the day Or night, no matter for how long. One bark is already Too many!

Like said above, I think it is not advisable to say “Well, dogs die, that’s what they do”. “Guns shoot, that’s what they do”. “Poison kills, that’s what it does”. ODOrs and police will make You the criminal in no time.

Another point: do not say “neighborS”, in plural, since they will reply: “What neighborS? You are the only one who ever complained!”.

It’s not dogs that are the problem, it’s people.
Reply: You are Not going to get me in this Catch 22. Both of Owner And dog are the problem. The dog because it barks/crap/bite… And the owner who doesn’t control the animal.

That is one of the most ridiculous excuses, and a shift blaming tactic, too. ODOr didn’t mean it in the way of putting the blame on people who don’t control/look after their dogs, for them all dog owners are responsible. What the ODOr really meant is that people are the problem because they don’t like dogs! No one can argue against irrationality.

I never knew, why didn’t you tell me?!
Reply: Well, now you DO know and I expect you to resolve the problem right away. Today is [insert day here] so I expect it to be resolved by eg. next week. Thank you. Have a good night.

That might be true, like in the case when the mutt keeps barking moments after the owners all leave the house. Try to give the benefit of doubt and use the warning letters before talking to them.

The ‘play dumb’ tactics = LIES.

If you had have told me, I would have…
Reply: NO, I should NOT have to tell you anything. DON’T transfer the responsibility of Your problem, a problem that Only You created, to me.

Like on the excuse above, try to award the dog owner with the benefit of doubt. All in the name of peace. Your peace And safety, certainly.

We can’t do anything unless the owner is at home
Reply: NO, You are in the house, You have the keys, You are responsible for this place when they are out. You have to control the dogs in the house and I expect you to do so right now. Then, when the owners come home You please tell them the problem and that police has already been informed.

Sure, ODOrs can give you the endless run around. They also usually make themselves very ‘hard to find’, returning home ‘after hours’, even sneaking in their own property just not to be noticed. If you could, start creating logs of the times they come and go so that you can inform police.

We can’t do anything unless the owner is at home (excuse by Animal Control)
Reply: Wrong! Of course you can. You can send a warning letter, issue an order for them to appear in person at your office, fine them, you can even enter the property together with police (in specific cases only, like when a vicious dog is mauling another dog in their property).

This is the country you know
Reply: NO, this country is a place of orderly people,
respectful neighbors, citizens who obey the law. You are the one breaking the law and Now you Know it.  Please be respectful of our country (even when they are a foreigner).

I’ll do whatever I like whenever I like, the way I like.
Reply: NO, you can Not do as you please when it spills out of your property. Your rights end right where others begin. Please respect us.

Our dogs are for protection
Reply: WRONG! Your dogs barking or charging the fence whenever people are on the street or my family is on My property is No protection in any way. I don’t need Your dogs to protect My property from Me, nor should your dog falsely protect any public place from those who want or would need to use it.

They only bark when there is an intruder
Reply: NO, they bark for any thing, any people, any car, any blow of the wind, for any reason, including No reason at all. Your dogs Do bark uncontrollably and I expect ou to control them in a definitive manner.

Lies, lies, and more lies.

Our dogs don’t bark
Reply: WRONG, those dogs Do bark and bark a Lot, including and even more when you are not home. Here is, for you to keep, a CD that I recorded Your dogs barking, for hours on end, every day, just this week.

The owner denies that the dog is barking and insists that it must be your imagination or some other dog you are hearing. Delusional denial.

• It’s not *Our* dogs barking, they don’t bark
Reply: WRONG, Yours dogs Do bark and I am absolutely sure about it. Here is, for your reference, the web address of the video on YouTube.com that I recorded Your dogs barking, for hours on end, every day, just this week.

Our dogs barking don’t bother us
Reply: It doesn’t matter! What it really matters is that Your dogs, with Your consent, Are bothering Me and My Family, at least. Your dogs prevent us from going to bed when we want, when we are tired, Your dogs wake us up late at night — and we can not go back to sleep for hours–, Your dogs wake us up early in the morning, even on Sundays — when we still want to have a little time for rest in Our Own House!

ODOrs admit the dog is barking but say that it doesn’t really bother you — that you only pretend it bothers you because you are out to get them (See They’re Ganging Up On Me, below). Two excuses at the same time.

Our dogs barking don’t bother other people
Reply: WRONG! It’s Not because other people didn’t complain, Yet, that your dogs are not disturbing them. And, back to the point, it is that Your dogs are bothering Me, and I expect you to correct that in the fastest possible manner.

ODOrs insist that barking doesn’t bother normal people and it only bothers you because you are somehow flawed or defective (See You Are Sick, below). Again, two excuses at the same time.

Our dogs don’t bite
Reply: WRONG! All dogs can bite, including Yours. Sooner or later they Will bite. I do NOT want to be injured by anything here, your dogs included.

A classic excuse.

My dogs have never bitten anyone
Reply: WRONG! Your dogs have not bitten anyone Yet!! They might, as you say so, have not bitten anyone Before but *I* don’t want to be the first.

My (previous) dogs have never bitten anyone in their whole life!
Reply: There is no way I could be sure of that, and it does not matter anyway. If so, they didn’t bite because they didn’t have Enough Time in their 15 years or so of misery the caused to the people around them.

My dogs have never bitten anyone BEFORE (right after biting someone)
Reply: Well, Now they have bitten, like all dogs do, and I don’t want it to happen again, specially against Me or My Family. Restrain your dog and do Not leave the scene. Police is coming.

Our dogs are good dogs
Reply: Dogs are Only possibly “good” if they do Not: bark, annoy, jump on, lick people, defecate/urinate off your property, damage other people’s property, run loose, are off-leash, and specially do Not bite, maul, injure… or Kill someone. If your dogs are like that, All that, than it might be a good dog.

The dog lobby’s Propaganda Machine loves to find shining examples, such as a driving dog, guide dogs, drug-sniffing dogs… exceptions of specialized trained animals (since eg Monkeys could do the same, and better) to try to add “respectability” to the ‘mighty’ dog they want us to venerate, just like they do.

My dogs (specially pit bulls) have never shown any sign of aggression
Reply: They don’t ‘need’ to! They are pitbulls/dogs, for God’s sake!

My dogs were never aggressive Before
Reply: Nobody knows that and nobody has How to Know that. However, the sure thing here is that You have to control them. Always!

Also used by ODOrs right after their mutts bite, injure, maul, attack, mutilate… kill someone. Specially babies, toddlers, kids and the elderly.

My dogs are loving / gentle / sweet / friendly. They will never hurt anyone…
Reply: Until the moment they do! Dogs are unpredictable and must be controlled at all times. Do not let them close to me, again.

My dogs are great with kids and dogs
Reply: Yes, great untill the day they kill those kids and dogs. I don’t want your dogs near my kids. Period!

It was a ‘unfortunate accident’ (the dog that mauled a baby)
Reply: No, it was not Not an Accident, but an Incident, predictable and preventable. It was clear a case of parental neglect, premeditated murder using a dog as an accessory to kill a newly born infant.

I really don’t know how something like that could happen
Reply: Of course you do, yes you know! You know all dogs have the potential to behave in unpredictable ways that no one could anticipate. You may Refuse to believe, but you Did know, for sure. Now start dealing with the consequences. You must appear in Court next week.

Somebody Poisoned my ‘Innocent’ dog!!!
Reply: If someone Really poisoned your dog, you can be sure it was Not Innocent. People don’t get out on the streets poisoning dogs for nothing. You can be sure there was a reason, a Good reason. And I don’t think you are any kind of professional like a vet or a doctor to confirm that.

Somebody Poisoned my dog… and I will buy another one!
Reply: You are responsible for what you do, and what you don’t do as well, like not taking care of your dogs. Keep your irresponsible behaviour you presented so far and your new mutt will probably be dead in no time. Your choice. And again, they were not killed by me!

Stupid people never learn.

YOU Killed my dog!!! (because you have complained/reported them to police/AC)
Reply: NO! I have Not killed any dog in all my life! Don’t you dare to accuse me of what you don’t know. What you do know is that your mutt was constantly roaming free, terrorizing the neighborhood. There are Lots of people who would like to see your mutt dead, and just one of them might have done it. You don’t even know! Do NOT Ever accuse me of that again!

WHO complained about my dog??? It was YOU!!!
Reply: YES, I reported your dogs to [press/police/animal control/community association/property management/gated community administration…]. You remember that I told you to control your animals, but You did not. Don’t want more complaints? Train your dogs to behave, asap! Over!

ODOrs receive complaints about their vicious dog behaving in a menacing fashion and respond by insisting that the dog “just wants to play” or “just wants some loving,” or otherwise refuse to acknowledge the dog’s threatening behavior.Wow, three(!) excuses at the same time!

This is one the most dangerous encounters, so the decent neighbor has to be quite aware of the situation, since ODOrs will be in their highest state of anger. Physical attacks are not uncommon, cursing is normal. Be prepared.

You’re lucky, I used to even have more dogs
Reply: I’ll be Lucky only when you have no dogs at all. Anyway, regardless of how many dogs you have, You have to control them, all of them, you have to obey the law, all the laws, at all times.

You’re lucky we haven’t got a rooster
Reply: I am talking about dogs, Your dogs only. Don’t change the subject.

Tactic used: Talking about a totally unrelated point so that you lose your focus. They are masters doing that.

Why don’t you wear earplugs?
Reply: NO! I do Not have to do anything, You have. You are the one who have to SHUT your dog up.

Don’t be polite trying to explain that earplugs are not comfortable, that they do not block the disruptive noise of barking, that you can not sleep well with them, that they cause ear infections after repetitive uses, that you have a baby in the house… they simply do not care at all and just want you to feel as the guilty one.

Why don’t you shut your windows?
Reply: NO! I do Not have to do anything, You have. You are the one who have to close all your windows in the summer. You are the one who has to keep your windows closed all the winter to keep he malodor of your dogs to You, you Only! You have to do at least that to control those dogs, Your dogs!

 There was a cat/bird/mouse/worm… in the yard (always)
Reply: That is Your problem, Not my responsibility. No matter what extraneous thing may be in your property, You must control and shut your dogs up, or better, to prevent them of barking at all.

There was a kid on the other side of the street/a car/the mailman on the sidewalk…
Reply: That is Your problem, Not my responsibility. I do no have to be disturbed by the ignorance of an animal that can not distinguish what is what. No matter what is outside there on the street, You must control and shut your dogs up, no matter what, no matter what time.

My dogs only bark because your kids play/you walk along the house…
Reply: That is Your problem, Not my responsibility. No matter what me and my family do on my property, you dogs have NO right to bark at us. Not even once.

Your family talk too loud over the brick wall. That is why my dogs bark.
Reply: Wrong. We talk at normal conversational levels. We never shout, yell, whatever. Your dogs bark just because it ‘sense’ there is somebody on the other side. Worse, your mutts bark even when none of us are there! That is Your problem to control your dogs, don’t try to blame me or my family for your mistakes.

Your friends are people of color. They smell. That is why my dogs bark.
Reply: What a stupid and inconsiderate comment! And racist as well! A felony in this country, you certainly know.

You really have to take a deep breath. This happened on my friend’s house just one week ago. The visitor was a nice guy/successful and didn’t want to pursue the charges. I would if that happened on my house (and I am caucasian).

It doesn’t wake us up.
Reply: It does Not matter. What matters is that those dogs are waking Me and my Family up. After we go to bed, Before we normally get up. That is the problem, your dogs barking even during inappropriate hours. It is Not acceptable. Control your dogs!

ODOrs expect normal neighbors to have the same biological sleep patterns as them. In their delusional world every living thing should totally adapt to their Royal timetable, their Royal habits dogmas and inclinations. Actually, they are saying we are a heavy sleeper, or plain Lazy since we do not wake up or go to (try) to sleep at their time. A clear demonstration of selfishness.

You are Spying on me!
Reply: NO, I’m Not spying on you. I am, from my home, from my house only, just recording the numerous times that your dogs bothered me, day and night and you didn’t control them. I don’t care about your life only about silence in my property.

That is the usual reaction after they get to know that you created a log on the times the dogs the problems occred. They play the victim.

The dogs are well looked after / well fed and cared for / the kennels are clean
Reply: I didn’t say they weren’t. Not the issue, therefore not the point.

Have you read that before? Another smokescreen.

You’re the only one who has ever complained
Reply: Good, so now you know the problem and that I expect you to fix it. Just telling you what everybody else in this neighborhood already knew but didn’t say.

This is the classic singling out trick to isolate you as the crazy, delusional, bad guy, the one who will try anything to kill their dogs. And, of course, other people don’t complain basically because they don’t want to be seen as bad people in the community, but also for fear of retaliation, that usually happens.

Everyone else’s dogs bark, too
Reply: I am Not talking about Other people’s dogs. I’m talking about Your dog. Let’s just stick to your mutt disturbing our lives.

We’re laid back
Reply: NO excuse. I expect you too to be responsible and respectful to this community, like we all are.

There’s nothing I can do about my dog barking/It’s Impossible to prevent my dog-any dog of barking!
Reply: WRONG! There are many things that you can and must do, like Shut your dogs up or get rid of it. Preferably the latter, it’s 100% effective. You do Not have Any right to STEAL someone else’s sleep, steal their time, steal their health and every thing else of value. Just because you might get back to sleep after being woken, there are many who can’t, because of reasons you are too self-absorbed to think about. One single woof is all it takes to wake someone up. Then that’s One Too Many!

I don’t know how to stop my dog from barking
Reply: That is Your problem, Yours only, Not mine. But I will be nice and give you a few ideas:
– Pay a professional trainer to shut up your dog.
– Pay for a de-barking procedure at the vet.
– Buy and make your dog use a 24/7 shock/citronella collar.
– Surrender the animal to animal control.

I don’t have money to pay for any of the above
Reply: Not my problem. You are responsible for your dog including all expenses involved. I am Not going to pay anything for you, but I wouldn’t mind if you killed your dog just by yourself. Your choice. Your decision.

You’re paranoid about dogs
Reply: NO, You’re the one paranoid about us being paranoid. My ‘Paranoia’ is only to have peace and quiet on my own property. Respect it!

It’s typically the accusers who have paranoia (a real one), not the accused. Perfect example of blame shifting, again.

You hate dogs
Reply: NO! It’s NOT the point, anyway. It is Not because I don’t apreciate your doggie woggie disturbing my life that I hate it. What I ‘hate’ is the amount of trouble your dog and your lack of initiative are causing to my family life.

That is another classic. According to their illogical logic, if you don’t love dogs, you surely hate them.

You won’t compromise
Reply: You are right, finally! I will Never compromise on dogs, ever! I don’t have to compromise on my safety, my health, my sanity. Shut Up/Control Your dogs!

There’s faults on both sides
Reply: NO, I will Not accept any blame, not even a tiny percentage of a problem that doesn’t belong to me.  You created the problem by letting your dogs behave uncontrollably. The only ‘fair’ solution is for You to resolve the problems caused by Your dogs. Resolve that and we won’t have any problems about dogs anymore.

ODOrs will snuff out and pursue any ‘fault’ you might have with unparalleled zeal and excellence, like your well-trimmed backyard or your carefully manicured front yard. Have you shouted at the dog barking at night? There is your ‘fault’ there. Have you sprinkled the loose mutt on your porch? That is another ‘fault’ of yours there. And on and on and on. They want to ‘escape responsibility’ in any way and will try anything they could. Do not fall in their trap.

Making it a matter of needing mediation, is absolutely wrong. There’s Nothing to mediate. If there were any subsequent ‘developments’ by the affected neighbor, it was Only because of the problems created by the owner and the dogs. Dog owners need to Shut Up their dogs Permanently and take Full responsibility for their actions.

Ok, I will ‘compromise’ by ‘reducing’ the amount of barking my dog creates
Reply: NO!!! First: You will not ‘compromise’ on anything! That is your Full and Only responsibility to control Your dogs. I have NO blame over it. Second: The amount of barking must not just be ‘reduced’ but ‘eliminated’ completely, any time, anyhow.

Their tactic of  ‘demonstrating’ they are the goog guy. Yeah, right.

You don’t understand dogs
Reply: I do NOT have to! What I do understand, quite well actually, is that I deserve peace and quiet and safety on my own property and in the community where my family lives. Something that I am just starting to enforce right now and I expect you and your dogs to fully respect.

Isn’t it what we all do, push the boundaries?
Reply: NO! Adults don’t All push the boundaries. Only children, little kids do it whilst learning to grow up.

People love their dogs you know
Reply: I have no problem with that. What I DO have a problem with is when their attitudes start to compromise my peace, my quiet, my safety. Your dogs are disturbing my life, by seriously breaking the law, and I expect it to be resolved asap.

They’re ganging up on me / Everybody is accusing me / Against me
Reply: So it shows that your behavior, together with your dogs’, is not accepted in this community. You know, Animal Control is accepting dogs for half the fee this month.

They adore to say they are the victim.

ODOrs tell you they ‘know’ you are working in concert with others or that they ‘know’ you are trying to turn others against them. (This perception is greatly exacerbated by the Multiple Household laws that mandate that the victim (the real victim, the sufferer) must call on the other neighbors and recruit them to join in the legal action.)

The dog is trying to “say something” or “tell you something”
Reply: I do NOT care at all. I only speak “human” language and when someone wants to talk  to me they talk, not bark. Finally, no dog in the world has anything within it that I need to know. Shut up your dogs!

You’re winding up/aggravating/provoking the dogs/escalating this minor issue
Reply: NO,You are creating this unnecessary situation by not controlling your dogs. Don’t shift the blame on me. Take responsibility of the unacceptable behavior of your dogs and then you will see no ‘aggravation’ on this matter. Simple

These are just nothing other than excuses and false accusations that would rate amongst those most commonly used.

You’re always complaining
Reply: YES, you are Right! I am always complaining, But just and only because You do not control your dogs. Be a responsable human being and I promise I will not “complain” anymore.

After a couple of times reporting the issue, ODORs will take those chances to label you a   troublemaker, which typically implies you’re ‘known to be a complainer’.

In the case you reported it to Animal Control or police, it’s like you’ve got a cap on your opportunity to put in legitimate complaints, and any more is seen to overstep the mark, legitimate or not. In other words, AC and police determined that you can not complain anymore, You ae a nuisance. Something absolutely outrageous that no one should accept.

That is why we should complain less and do more. The main purpose of this site.

Do not complain anymore! (said by ODOr, AC, police)
Reply: I will keep complaining untill this problem is resolved. I have a legal right to do so and no one can tell me the contrary. Just fix the problem and I promise will not come here again, ever!

Just a variation of the above, demonstrating that you are serious about the issue.

You are bullying us / You are harassing us
Reply: NO. YOU are the one who’s bullying / harassing us, me my family. Your dog Your responsibility. Solution is simple: Control your dogs and you get your ‘peace’ back. You are not even receiving a fraction of the payback You and your dogs deserve.

The inversion of values.

You’re sick
Reply: That’s right, sick of you. Control your dogs and I get sane again.

Another classic. Normal people are sick, ODOrs are normal, kissing their mutts in the mouth. Ok…

Why don’t you tell _______ to have their dog on a leash?
Reply: If you’ve got a problem with ______ then You go and tell them yourself. I am talking about Your dog and expect it to be on a leash at all times.

Among other things their main strategy in this point and similar others is to get you offside with people so they can gather more ammunition against you in order to ultimately swell their ranks and boost their lack of confidence.

The neighbor’s dog on the corner barks/bites/crap/goes off leash… why don’t you report them?
Reply: Quite similar to above.

• I’ll register my dogs as farm dogs.
Reply: Do as you please. All I want is to have no barking/biting/off-leashed animal on or around my property.

It is not easy to register a dog as a farm animal anymore so don’t be sidetracked by that. But never underestimates the bias and incompetence by Animal Control.

There’s all sorts of noises, dogs are just another one
Reply: Yes, and there’s no noise as useless as a useless dog barking, which is almost all of it.
Reply: Again, I am talking about the noise of Your dog, Your dog only. If you have a problem with other types of noise go there and resolve it yourself. I have a problem with the obnoxious noise from Your dog and I expect it to cease as soon as possible.

This is MY property I’ll do what I like
Reply: Wrong! You might do whatever you Only until it reaches My property.

You’ll just have to put up with it
Reply: Likewise we return the favour. You’ll just have to put up with it too.

It’s the way you’ve asked us to deal with our dogs– (indicating that the victim has got an attitude problem).
Reply: No it’s the way you chose to hear.

It’s just not going to happen…they’re not going to get rid of their dogs (by AC)
Reply: No reply actually, the next possible step is to sue for professional negligence or however lawyers will call it in your area. Yes, you will have to pay for a lawyer, or use Small Claims Court, if possible there, since AC is a public institution.

In other words Animal Control is saying “we’re not going to make them get rid of it even though we have the power, no matter how much they offend or break the law…” You can’t argue with irrationality.

You are _________ ! (insert in here all the cursing and slanderous lies you could imagine.)
Reply: No reply. Just finalize your point, if possible, and leave. The situation only tends to escalate from this point on. You can’t argue with irrationality, much less with stupidity.

You’ve got nothing better to do
Reply: I DO! Living my Life! And you are preventing me to do so. That’s why I am here, because You have nothing else to do other than to worship your useless mutts.

Get a job / Find something ‘useful’ to do
Reply: I Do have a job, a well-paying job that requires concentration and that is why I’m working from home. 

If you have money as you say, why don’t you move?
Reply: Oh, my. *I* do Not have to move. I am a law-abiding citizen, contrary to you as you are demonstrating here. I bought my house, with My money, from My work, I am Not a renter. I am a Respected member of this community for years and so, if anyone has to move out of here, that one is You!

I don’t mean for the dogs to annoy you
Reply: That’s ok, so. Apologies accepted (if that is what you mean). I truly expect it won’t happen again since you are going to fully control your dogs. Thank you.

Off course they are lying but…

The dog doesn’t like you / The dog can ‘sense’ something about you
Reply: Your problem, not mine. Control your dogs!

You are racist / I’m being discriminated
Reply: Wrong! I have nothing against your race, color, religion, beliefs… whatever. What I am against is your unacceptable, criminal behaviour.

The council is laughing at you
Reply: Yes,  and my Lawyer is laughing loudly on the money he is gonna take from you both.

They have a circus mentality, everything is funny for them, no responsibility at all. Untill the moment they have their mutts impounded.

I’ve heard you’re being fined by the city for unreasonable complaints/ _______
Reply: While you’re attacking me, you’re leaving something four-legged else alone.

Insert up there your experience of vicious lying gossip emanating from ODOrs. Anything is desperately used to ‘unseat you’ if you push one of those ‘doggie buttons’ that make ODOrs explode of anger.

You’re a Christian, you should be more kind / __________
Reply: Wrong! As a Christian, first and foremost, I DO Respect other people, something that You are not doing, at all.

What ODOrs really want here is to try to apply the concept of “Christians should turn the other cheek”, forevermore, to the absolute maximum, so they can endlessly terrorize our lives without giving any respite whatsoever, and we just have to accept that. Absurdity to the utmost.

You’re too intolerant / picky / unreasonable / _____________
Reply: (Take a deep breath before you start) Wrong! I am an extremely kind and considerate person and anyone in this community knows that.  If I am ‘intolerant’ is against uneducated people who disregard the law and are inconsiderate to the neighbors, babies, little kids and the elderly included. In case you do not understand, that stupid person is YOU!

ODOrs are actually saying, there’s something wrong with your personality and you suffer from some crazy disorder because you like to be quiet and mind your own business you’re seen as not fitting in with the status quo.

It’s an ex-police dog
Reply: One more strong reason to have a highly dangerous dog controlled, at all times.

It’s not a reportable offence (by Police)
Reply: Of course it IS a reportabe ofence. The dogs owners are, at this right moment, disturbing my life and my family’s and I request the presence of a police officer to end this attack on my right to sleep/enjoy the peacefulness of my own home.

Some times police will be quite defensive against taking action against. Expect all kinds of excuses and delays. They may tell you to go to Police Central Station the next day to file a report, but the dog is still barking there at 2 or 3 in the morning. If they don’t come in about one hour, you may call again.

• Police don’t like to receive this kind of complaints (by ODOr/AC)
Reply: One

My dog needs fulfillment and enrichment
Reply: Your problem, not mine. Give all the fulfillment and enrichment you want your dog to have but do Not disturb the neighbors, me included. That is all I care about ad expect you to do.

Are you threatening me? (ODOrs’ reaction before reporting them)
Reply: Don’t play the victim, you are Not one. YOU are the problem, not the victim. The only illegal thing here is what you and your dogs are Already doing to me.

The eternal victim.

Are you threatening my dogs? (ODOrs’ reaction to after reporting them)
Reply: I didn’t make any threat to impound your dogs.That is a formal/legal procedure.

Dogs are our culture / religion / way of life
Reply: OK, and the Law of this country is what we and *I* live for, my personal and private beliefs. Nothing can surpass that. I urge you to respect that, by simply controlling your dogs.

Dogs are our culture. We don’t register/vaccinate… them.
Reply: It doesn’t matter your culture, believes, religion or whatever. Laws are to be respected, yours included.

As insane as it seems, we may get one of those excuses from groups like Maoris in New Zealand, Indians (Eskimos) in northern Canada, fighting dogs breeders in the USA, dog rescue NGOs in Brazil… Be prepared for the madness on their comments. And they truly believe it.

I’ll put a gate up over the back of the property IF the dogs get out
Reply: No, you have to put it Now, Before something even more serious happen. It doesn’t matter your dogs haven’t done something really bad Yet. They already show they Can! You have to put a gate in place Now!

How do you know I don’t have a leash in my pocket?
Reply:  I do NOT need to know that. However, you DO have to have your dog on a leash, at all times. That is the law in here. Respect it!

My dog won’t like that muzzle!
Reply: It doesn’t matter what the dog likes, it has to do what it’s told. Who cares if the dog doesn’t like it. You don’t let a kid stay up till midnight on a school night because they don’t like going to bed.

They are dogs! Don’t you know that?
Reply: What I know is that you – by not controlling your animals – is destroying my peace and quiet. I don’t appreciate and want it to stop.

They are my Babies/I am a mother of dogs/They are part of the family
Reply: Well, as far as I know, the mother of a ‘dog’ is a bitch, not a person. If they are part of your animal family or not, it doesn’t matter anyway. What matters is that you have to control and train them to behave and no to disturb me, the next-door neighbor.

My dogs are better behaved than those pesky kids out there
Reply: I’m talking about Your dog, not about kids. If you have anything to complain about those kids Playing(!), go and talk to their parents. Remember, even You were a kid some day.

The eternal, futile fight to try to make dogs be considered better than people, even kids.

• I won’t do anything. So, what YOU are going to do?
Reply: Say nothing and leave. You will hear “you’re a fag/sissy”, “don’t bother me anymore you %$@#*&%” and so on.
or just say:
“I already told YOU what YOU need to do and I expect you to be a responsible person. Over. Good night.”

This is how most arguments ends, with the ODOr trying to impose his superiority and challenging you. The best approach is to never say something like “I’ll kick your ass if you don’t shut your mutts up!”. That is a trap in wich they are masters.


What happens after one of these encounters?

You can be almost sure: you Will suffer retaliation. Some time, somehow, somewhere. You, your family, your property will be retaliated. Be on the alert. Have an alarm system? Confirm it’s working perfectly. Have a security system with cameras recording 24/7? Excellent. Don’t forget the new batteries.

Some times it is just minor things, but irritating, like the ODOR making his dogs bark even more, playing loud music, telling lies about you in the neighborhood or giving you that ‘evil look’. Others are not so minor like scratching your car, littering your yard, destroying your garage… and so on.

If time pass by and nothing have happened, that is great, you are among the lucky ones. Unfortunately most of us are not.


Did you notice how many different ways ODOrs used to try to prove they are ‘right’ on their behaviour and, even more, that they are ‘special’ and ‘deserving of royal treatment’? We did. Like:

Lies, lies… and more lies.
Playing dumb…
Stalling tactics…
Derision, Dismissal…
Excuses, Smokescreens, Myths…
Accusations, Blame Shifting, and other Mind Games…

Help Us Improve

Any excuses missing? For sure.

Do you have one? Just send us that.

Always receptive to constructive criticism. Please leave your comments.


Our many thanks to:
Barking Dog Solutions.

This entry was posted in Dog Facts, Dog Myths, NO Dogs, Please!. Bookmark the permalink.

36 Responses to Excuses from Dog Owners – Lies, Tactics, Accusations…

  1. S says:

    When I got bit by a dog, the person responsible (not technically the owner, but the owner’s roommate, who lived with the dogs and invited me into the home) had JUST said “they don’t bite.”

    If someone tells you a dog is harmless, don’t believe it! Especially if the dog is barking or growling at you and being unwelcoming. Idiots assume that if a dog has never bitten before (that they know of), then it never will. They seem not to understand that every rap sheet has a first line. All dogs that have teeth can bite, and a dog that is being hostile probably will.

    And it really is impossible to be 100% sure that a dog won’t bite, unless it’s muzzled or has had its teeth removed. Or it’s dead.

    Don’t trust someone who says “my dog doesn’t bite” or some variation on that theme. That statement is overused by people who don’t know it for sure and don’t want you to be upset about their dog. It simply can’t be trusted.

    Why risk it? Your health and well-being are more important than believing someone who is making an assumption that can never be known with certainty.

    • S says:

      Afterward, they guy who caused my dog bite was trying to tell me that I didn’t need medical care (!) because the dog was healthy. (This guy was really quite stupid — yes, you DO need medical care after a puncture bite, no matter how healthy the dog is.)

      He refused to offer any documentation of the dog’s rabies vaccination, yet he expected me to just trust him. And I was all like, “you also said they don’t bite!” The fool was literally asking me to stake my life on his claim that the dog was disease-free, which he refused to prove when asked.

      • KaD says:

        The proper thing to do when you get bit is to call the police; especially if you don’t personally know the party and where they live. Pit owners are well known to give fake phone numbers and names for contact information. Call the police no matter what they say. Be ready to get a License plate number if they attempt to run.

        • S says:

          I did end up calling the police, although the guy tried to stop me, saying it wasn’t a “reportable offense.” But it WAS.

          Note that in some municipalities, you are legally REQUIRED to report a dog bite. So, do it!

          • MrMAD says:

            That is another excuse: “it’s not a reportable offense”, “you cann’t call police for that”… I heard, them too.

          • S says:

            Let the police tell you whether it’s a reportable offense… not the biased dog owner who wants to cover his ass.

          • MrMAD says:

            The biggest problem is that even some police will tell you that! You have to be prepared to hold your ground and this page helps you with that.

      • MrMAD says:

        You did the right thing, twice, by calling the police and seeking medical attention.

        Your case is similar to a Dr. Phill’s dog that bit a fiend visiting his home, but she didn’t do what you did.

        The womam, an entrepeneur, got extremelly sick and even lost her business since she could not work with her hands anymore. That from ‘Dr. Phill’, a guy who should know better. Imagine other people out there.

        Irresponsible to the utmost.

        • KaD says:

          That dog was a Korean Jindo; bred to be OUTDOORS as guard dogs. Has he done any research he’d have know this was not a good ‘pet’ dog.

        • S says:

          I remember hearing about that story, and I was appalled! This woman was their close friend, but the rich and famous Dr. Phil refused to pay her medical bills. WTF?

    • KaD says:

      If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the last few years it’s that dog owners are completely deluded about their shitty mutts potential for biting/mauling/killing. Do NOT listen to anyone who tells you their dog doesn’t bite. Ever.

      • MrMAD says:


        No one can say that an unpredictable animal won’t do unpredictable things.

        Total detachment from reality.

      • S. D. Martin says:

        I literally walk out into the street to avoid dogs tied up in front of businesses, or when someone with a dog–leashed or not–approaches me. I ESPECIALLY make a point of avoiding an unleashed dog! I usually get a dirty look and/or the “It’s okay, he’s friendly” speech. Yeah, I’ve heard THAT one plenty of times in the past–usually right before the damn thing lunges at me! Fortunately I’ve never been bitten, but with the increasing amount of dogs in this insanely dog-centric area where I live, it’s almost just a question of time…

        • MrMAD says:

          I do the same, and get the same… dirty looks, sarcasm, cursing, disrespectful laughs, and excuses. But almost never an apology.

          This has to change.

  2. Wrongfred the Dog Shootist says:

    if people are allowed to own dangerous dogs than theoretically I should be allowed to own a pet tiger. At least tigers only attacked if provoked or if they are hungry. Much more predictable than a dog

    • S says:

      You’re right, and especially so if we listen to the arguments of the apologists for pit bulls, rottweilers, and other such breeds that are especially prone to aggression.

      The apologist decry “breed discrimination.” Well, you know what? Species discrimination is no more logical than breed discrimination, so it makes as much sense to allow pet tigers (a breed of cat, after all, which is a common pet) as to allow pet pit bulls.

    • Fluffy The Kitten says:

      Heck yes! I would love a pet tiger.

  3. 90spikachu lover says:

    OMG this made me lol soo hard. Way to go I love this!

  4. VioletMaria says:

    Here’s an ‘excuse’ for dog sh*t!
    ‘It’s natural and biodegradable, good for the environment’

    Uhhh, ever heard of e.coli? A little girl went BLIND in one eye from touching it with dog sh*t!

    Dog shit CAN’T ‘break down’ on concrete!

    • S says:

      Dogs are unnatural animals fed unnatural diets.

      Why not just allow humans to poop all over public parks? Because it’s disgusting, it stinks, nobody wants to step in it or kick a soccer ball through it, and it would ruin the enjoyment of nature. And, yes, it’s unhealthful and dangerous!

      Manure that is used as a fertilizer is treated before usage to make it safe. Dog droppings left in public are not.

    • S. D. Martin says:

      I have a friend with a Westie who never cleans up after it. In the summer she just leaves the piles on her lawn; in the winter when there’s snow she sometimes tromps out an area for the dog to “go” in (leaving the piles where they drop); or if the snow is too deep (it’s an old dog) she lets it crap and pee on the porch and either hoses the mess off the porch or lets it freeze and then sweeps it off with a broom (she lives in Detroit, MI). She says “Well, I just think of it as fertilizer.” Granted, she weighs over 300 pounds and I realize it’s hard for her to bend over, but she COULD get one of those long-handled scoops and USE it. Michigan summers are notoriously hot and humid (I’m from Detroit and we grew up next door to each other) and the stench from her lawn must get pretty bad…and she jokes about the lawn-mower guy complaining about having to deal with the dogshit before he can cut her grass!

  5. S. D. Martin says:

    Another increasingly common excuse used by ODOrs for taking their yapshits EVERYWHERE with them, including into businesses, restaurants, and even grocery stores: “It’s a Therapy Dog”. Anyone can download a certificate and order one of those working-dog jackets online, whether or not the dog has actually been through ANY kind of training. They have the law on their sides too, as one cannot legally ask them what exactly is “wrong” with them that they “need” the dog…

    • KaD says:

      True, but what you can LEGALLY do is ask the person “Are you disabled?”. By definition a person must be disabled to own a service dog. If they aren’t disabled it’s not a service dog. Or “Is that your pet?”. If they say yes then it’s a PET, not a service animal.

  6. Susan says:

    These people that insist on taking their dogs everywhere with them piss me off. They know no boundaries and I have NEVER yet seen a business owner speak up either and tell them to get their dogs out of their store. I was at the pharmacy, and suddenly there was a wet sensation on my leg. This damn dog was sniffing me! The owner looked on with adoration. I told her to get the thing away from me. She then put her purchases on the counter while the dog roamed the store. The clerk fixed her with a look but it did no good and everyone in line had to wait while she retrieved the dog. Then she plopped the beast on the counter, dirty feet and all, with its puffy fur floating in the air all around. Mind you now, some people have asthma and such and don’t expect a dog to even be in a pharmacy. The dog jumped down and once again everyone had to wait while she ran after it. This went on for at least 5 minutes, with the line getting longer and longer. Of course the woman was to blame, but so was the pharmacist. He should’ve stepped in the protect his customers and told her to take the dog outside, leave it there and never bring it in again. No customer’s business is worth that kind of disrespect.

    • MrMAD says:

      Many times I think what would happen if I patted the butt of a lady dog owner after her pooch licked my leg or jumped on me. Would she think it was so funny like it was for her dog? We know the answer.

      Regarding the pharmacy, no doubt they are as irresponsible as the mutt owner. Specially in a pharmacy(!), a place that is supposed to be as clear as possible. In many cities, they could be fined or even closed due to health regulations. But that is just our dream nowadays. Anyway, the best way to handle such situations is to strongly voice your discontent to the nearest employee and then calling the manager, stating that that situation was totally unacceptable and if it occurred again they would lose *me* as a regular client. “Me”, as in not just “me” but many other people as well due the negative word-of-mouth publicity.

      Ah, and the health department would be informed anyway, regardless if they did something or not. I’d just feel better that way.

      Ps: I did exactly that in our local mini market that was allowing dogs inside, even off-leash. I haven’t seen any dogs there for a while now.

  7. Andreas says:

    We live in the alleged beautiful country of South Africa. We’re faced with ODOrs (2 immediate ‘neighbours’) and their altogether 8 dogs barking at any time of the day and night and barking literately the ‘souls out of our hearts’! The following is just a very short description of what the severe situation actually is.

    We live in a small town and we’re faced with 2 (wall to wall) neighbours, which 8 (eight) dogs are barking and breach the peace any time of the day or night for consecutive 10 (ten) years! now. We’ve constantly tried to resolve this breach of peace, caused by this families’ excessively barking dogs, between ourselves (meaning between us and the ODOrs), but without any fruitful success. We’ve also contacted plenty of times the local Municipality (including the Mayor), the South African Police Service (SAPS), the local Metro Police Officer, the local Security people, the SPCA (Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals), family members, friends for help and assistance etc., again without any fruitful success. Therefore (and unfortunately) we launched recently (via our legal representative) a High Court application against these ODOrs for public nuisance and disturbance of the peace.

    So far so bad! As a cherry on top of the cake the one owner is an attorney in this small local community. We have the impression that he and his family members can do whatever they want to. They even keep their dogs excessively barking after we’ve applied for a peace order at the local Municipality. And the Magistrate there is biased as well as other nearby communities, because he is also working there. Therefore we went to High Court of a bigger city (250 km away from home).

    We came across the website ’100 Ways to Kill a Dog!?’. We are, we think at least, decent people, that do not want to kill dogs at all. We also had dogs in our lives before and we know that the dogs are not the problem but the irresponsible dog owners. When we were reading the website we realized that we are not the only people that are faced with such ODOrs!

    Is anybody out there that understands us or can give us any advice what else we possibly could do in such a hopeless and desperate situation and if there is any law that could protect us from such neighbours with excessively barking dogs? Thanks!

    • MrMAD says:

      Andreas, welcome to the blog.

      I really sympathize with you. Your situation is almost exactly what me and my family had to endure years ago (described here), Barking dogs hurting your property value.

      We had to move, we could not fight against those people, at least not by following the law, that we always did and continue to do.

      I don’t know your country but no doubt there are laws to protect you, for sure. However, as you mentioned, they will never, ever, be normally enforced to your benefit as you already stated that the neighbor is a lawyer (seemingly with high profile acquaintances, like in my case) and the local judge is ‘biased’, possibly a good friend of your neighbor specially because it’s a small town. Even if they are not close friends, they are related by their legal profession and tend to protect themselves. To reinforce what I say, you already contacted probably all officials and departments which could and should help you with your problem, to no avail.

      This way, the only advice I can give you are:
      – Keep fighting your case in Federal Court as you seem to be able to afford that, both in perseverance, time and money. However, be absolutely sure you have a top-notch lawyer who in no way is connected to that lawyer and judge above. Not just a single lawyer who works alone but a legal office, a powerful team of attorneys that really understand their jobs and the nuances of the law. I know, this advice contradicts what I said before that the laws will never protect you but real good lawyers can make miracles, certainly with a price. The distance of hundreds of kilometers may help you a little bit on that since they will distance them from the intimate relationship in your city.
      – The other advice is to move to another property, away from these people. Like in my case, this is what I did. At least where I lived, politicians, attorneys, judges, their obscure friends… are not the people you would like to meet in a dark street at night, much less if they meet your family. Some times they even have mafia-like friends that you would never be aware of. There was no chance in hell I could win them in court. Corruption specially in my town is widespread. In my case, differently from yours, I could only sue them in my own city, not anywhere else. At least I got a nice outcome, moved to another city, much more civilized and peaceful, although still with a few dogs around (they will never disappear anywhere in the world (Ok, maybe in Iceland)) but that do Not keep me awake at night or bother my family during the day.

      There would be another possibility, the use of a powerful dog silencer (not sold in the market) that would, as the name says, make the dogs shut up. However, I do Not suggest that option now, and will not even get in more details openly here on that (but you can contact me if you want) since, as you already started taking legal action, it could make things even worse and they may turn the facts and make you the criminal, even though all you would be doing was protecting yourself. Also, do not even think about retaliating by the like of playing loud music, setting fireworks in your own property… as anything would backfire on you. Just remember to keep filming and documenting everything you can.

      Remember, the problem are not the laws, but the people who are enforcing them.

      As a little bit of additional info, please take a look at What YOU Can Do if I forgot something.

      Well, I suppose that’s all I can tell you by now. But I sincerely hope the very best for you to have that dog terrorism harassing you and your family stopped. Please let us know of what happens.

      All the best to you, Andreas.

      About this site, the title ’100 Ways to Kill a Dog!?’ is Not dedicated to kill or injure dogs in any way. This site was created because of what a dog did to my only nephew and to show what affected people are Already doing so that irresponsible owners (as well as police, politicians, municipalities, judges…) could be brought to their responsibilities by acknowledging that victims are Already doing something, increasing every day, and that is not suffering in silence anymore. The final reason for this website to exist is to hopefully help people like you and me who suffer from this lunacy called dog reverencing.

    • S says:


      I’m so sorry for what you’ve been going through. I wish I had some good advice, but it sounds like you’ve done everything (short of killing the dogs). All I can say is that I really, really feel for you. I hope that karma is real and that someday these owners will have to endure the same level of agony they forced upon you, for so many years. That’s really the only thing that ever gets through to sociopaths, if anything does.

      Again, I’m so sorry!

  8. Fred Barnard says:

    Some good responses, however I suggest revisions:
    leave out “your mutt” derogatory remarks –
    say “your animal”. and
    say “quiet” your dog (not “shut up”)
    remember THEY are the aggressors, let us not be like them.

  9. lucy says:

    Here’s a ODOr excuse that hasn’t been posted. I complained to the neighbor about the huge dog howling and whining for hours so loud that we cannot open our windows or sit enjoy our patio. Her excuse? “My dog has high anxiety. There’s only so much I can do.” High anxiety??? Maybe if she got off her lazy arse and took the friken beast for a walk once in a while it might not be so anxious! Lazy, worthless, self-entitled and irresponsible. I happen to own a large dog myself – he is well trained and QUIET

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