What People Victimized by Menacing Dogs Already Did.
This is Chapter 1 of the “100 Ways to Kill a Dog!?”.
Please understand that what this article means is: “100 Ways to Kill a Dog that people who were victimized by menacing dogs, acts that were already committed.”
These are NOT my ideas or suggestions for you or anyone to do the same, or similar. You are the only one responsible if you decide to do so.
Please understand that very well before you start reading and getting ideas or thinking about sending me death threats. If you didn’t fully understand that, just return to the begining of this page and read it all again.
All the 100 ways to be listed in this series were all collected from the Internet, all in open sites, and posted here in their original form, in no specific order. I used no censorshiping here, what people said they did, I included. So, by reading them all you may even find that someone already discovered that absolutely perfect way to kill a dog and not got caught.
This list, and the acts taken by the real victims, the ones victimized by dogs and their keepers, would never, ever come to fruition if those victims were not harassed to beyond their limit. So, do Not blame the -real- victims. Instead, blame the -real- criminals.
Remember: Self-defense is ALWAYS legitimate.
So, let’s go:
I think poisoning pets is wrong, but anyone who doesn’t understand why someone would do it has simply never experienced it. I may never do it, but I know exactly why people do it.
If it has a collar on. Grab the collar and lift it up to the fence and hang it there.
Owner will just think it was jumping up at the fence and killed itself.
(My comment: My parents had the extremely unpleasant experience to have a neighbor from hell several years ago who had one of his pitbulls to hang itself! Yes, the shitbull hanged itself, all alone! It lived in a big brick-made dog house and sometimes chained, still while in there. For some reason, the ODOR (Obnoxious Dog Owner) placed the other end of the chain up on the wall. The mutt somehow made a loop or knot with the chain, a steel chain, put its head into it and kept jumping. Done!)
At night when no one’s watching, attract it to you somehow. Ultrasound can be very useful, since dogs hear it but people dont. Tranquilize it, then bury it, preferably in a spot normally covered by a grill or something. No way he’ll ever be able to link it to u.
Break a tiny hole in ur fence on “accident” and leave a bunch of chocolate bars on your lawn (or whatever poisen that will kill the dog). You could just say the poisen was for rats or something that you suspected were there.
Grab the dog at night, put tape around its mouth so it shuts the fuck up, take it to a river with teh dog stuffed in ur back and tie a brick to it and throw it in.
Find some deadly disease thats easily transferable between animals and inject it into the dog.
Steal it in the midle of da night and sell to koreans…PROFIT! a retriver is like fillet to them.
Feed it Acetaminophen, 500mg should do the trick; its highly toxic to both cats and dogs and causes intense internal bleeding.
You could just take some chocolate, 90-100%, and leave it own the lawn. Maybe 500 g or so. It would look pretty innocent if somehow you left some chocolate on the lawn after a BBQ where you were melting that chocolate or something, and then somehow lure the dog in.
Ethylene glycol is a bad idea, because it has been used too much. Use something exotic. Perhaps Uranium, battery acid, heroin, cocaine, or something.
There’s always the choice of injecting the dog with rabies or some kind of virus (parvo perhaps.). It’s a little harder to do, but it’s far less suspicious.
If you can get rid of the body, you could invite the cop(owner) over for dinner and cook his dog for him. Just make sure to use a lot of meat tenderizer and you should probably boil it and then barbecue it, dog meat is tough as fuck.
Remember, ODORs, that if you were a Responsible Dog Owner, no one would be thinking about killing YOUR dog, too.